Just Trying To Survive

I feel like a shaken bottle of soda ready to explode.

What is going on with this world!?

Regardless of your beliefs, I am sure you have been asking yourself the same thing. I am on edge. My paranoia is starting to creep in and things are no longer feeling safe again. No matter what I do, I feel a sense of judgement from all sides of this society.

To take a stand could end up being deadly. I wouldn’t want to leave my family and my kids without a mother; ME AS THEIR MOTHER.

To not take a stand means I am not partaking in these matters. Which makes people assume I either don’t care or am on the opposite side.

It feels like we are traveling back in time.

Ontop of that, the mental health crisis has been getting so much worse.

I purposely don’t follow the news closely because it makes it harder for me to function “normally”. Things like these school shootings and this 4th of July parade massacre are happening and I can’t handle it. It makes it harder for me to want to leave my house. Like every time we leave we are putting ourselves in danger.

I also know I cannot live life in fear like that and we have to leave our house for things. But, the paranoia is still there.

It is absolutely horrifying to think going to get your groceries, going to school, going to a park, going to a freaking parade can lead to your untimely death. Like WTF!?

I don’t think this country knows what it’s doing. I don’t think people can put their personal agendas aside in order to actually make a damn difference. I can’t up and leave it either.

This is just, for lack of a better word, CRAZY.

It’s disturbing. It’s chaos. It’s sad. It’s horrible and horrifying. It’s maddening.

I just don’t know anymore.

I’m just trying to survive.