No means NO!
The other day we went to Target to get a few more school supplies and new shoes for Pickle. He had begun asking for a rescue bot toy that we had seen at another store a few days prior. We have been working on attitude adjustments with him. So we told him if he was good and listened we would go see if they had it.
We get some glue, found him some shoes, a couple of t-shirts, and then of course I get distracted by the baby section. While me and little miss Poppy are in the baby section, just looking around, Chris and Pickle went to see if that toy was there. They didn’t have it. So, of course, Pickle finds an even more expensive toy that he would like instead. Unfortunately, this trip was not one where we wanted to buy an expensive toy so Chris tells him, “I’m sorry buddy, but we are not getting that toy, but we can check Wal-Mart for the one you want when we go there tomorrow. “Being four is hard. Especially when all they hear is the “we arent getting that” part before they start causing a scene. Which, he did. We both tried explaining to him multiple times that we would try to find the one he wanted tomorrow. We also explained to him that the way he was acting was not appropriate and if it continued he wasn’t going to get anything. Beings that, being four is hard, he just kept screaming and crying all the way to the register. Nothing we said or did would help him calm down because he wanted to get something, anything.
I am not one to allow my children to run me. There are going to be times they want something and, even if I have the money, they will be told no. I want them to understand they cannot have everything that they want. I also want them to understand that no means no without throwing a tantrum about it. I get it though, being four is rough.
We get to the register and Chris sees a Transformers promotional toy four-way in the area. He goes and looks and for a brief minute Pickle stopped crying and followed Chris over there. He found another toy he wanted, but we both told him no. He did not deserve to be rewarded for his behavior that day.
So I’m in line, behind a man and woman, probably about our age. When I let out a deep breath and said “holy taledo” as Pickle was having a serious melt down. The woman sort of laughed and said, “good for you guys for not giving in. A lot of parents would have.” I said, “it is hard, but I believe he needs to learn the lesson.” She was in agreement with me and proceeded to tell me how she is a behavior therapist for kids, so she knows the struggle.
By time Chris and Pickle got back to me, in the line at the register, he was still hyperventilating while screaming “I want it” and crying.
I asked him to hold my hands and he did. I explained to him again that the way he was acting was not appropriate. I asked him if he understood what I was saying, he said yes. I told him, if he could be good and listen then we will still try the next day. He finally calmed down enough for us to pay and get in the van.
Of course it is easy to give into a child to make them stop freaking out in public. The thing of it is, I don’t care if people look at me when things like that happen. It’s inevitable, it is going to happen. Little people have a hard time expressing their feelings and I know that. I know it is rough for them. However, I cannot just give him everything he wants. That is what creates entitlement and I’m sorry (not) if I want my children to work for what they have. So yes, I will tell my kids no and yes, I will not give into their inappropriate behavior no matter who is starring at me.