When my husband and I first met (2010) I only had 2 lines of credit and no other debt. The only debt he had was his car. I was a supervisor of lawn and garden at Walmart. I made decent money as a 20 year old. We moved in together at the end of 2010.... Continue Reading →
Something Is Missing
Hold on a second while I gather my thoughts... I apologize in advance if this is jumpy, but I just feel compelled to write this out. For the last 2 weeks, consistently, I have felt a sense of urgency. Like there is something missing in my life. It used to be this feeling when I... Continue Reading →
This Is My Normal.
When you spend the majority of your life a certain way, you can only assume that it is normal. It wasn't until maybe 2 years ago that I found out not everyone has experienced depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, and the like. Even in hearing other people's testimony about the way their "normal" brains work, didn't... Continue Reading →
30 Day Minimalism Challenge: day twenty four
Day 24. DO NOTHING. TODAY IS YOUR DAY TO BE STILL, YOU DESERVE IT. You are absolutely right, I did deserve it! I basically kept myself and the kids alive today. I didn't clean and I didn't cook dinner. Unfortunately, I also haven't been feeling well. So I will take all the rest and "do... Continue Reading →
Leaving My Light On
I tend to have very strong intuition. For the last couple of weeks I have been feeling a sense of doom. Nothing in particular to have a reason to feel that way, but it still lingers over me. I feel like at night and the morning is when it hits the worst. I am worrying... Continue Reading →
you become your environment
Why!? Why do I have so much anger that I have the shortest fuse out of anyone I know? They claim you become your environment. That your behavior is learned. Growing up, my dad was always seemingly angry (that is when he was around). He was constantly yelling at us; threatening us with belts and... Continue Reading →
A Rock and A Hard Place
As I previously mentioned in my post This Year In Review, I mentioned a little bit about stirring up old feelings in regards to my father. About two years ago I decided to finally put up a wall between he and I. I figured what was done was done and since I couldn't move past... Continue Reading →
Waving
I do my best to be a good person. That doesn't mean that I am perfect and that drama doesn't happen. For many years now (specifically 8 years), I have been dealing with this on-going drama on my husband's side of the family. More specifically, with his brother and his brother's wife. I have thought... Continue Reading →
Let’s Talk About Suicide
This post was sparked by hearing about the suicides of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain. I do not keep up with the news much anymore because of the negativity and anxiety it tends to give me. I happened to see a post on my Facebook newsfeed today for a suicide hotline. The post talked about... Continue Reading →
Clear My Head
Once again I am facing a dilemma. It is hard to choose a side because neither side feels like the right one. I'm the type of person that will try to find alternate ways to do something. Thinking outside the box. However, in this situation there is no alternative. How do I come to a... Continue Reading →