I feel like I haven't been as present on here lately. Partly because of some writer's block and partly because I have been very exhausted. My insomnia has been back for over a month now, sleeping roughly 3 to 4 hours a night but definitely not consecutively. I think it is because I have been... Continue Reading →
When my husband and I first met (2010) I only had 2 lines of credit and no other debt. The only debt he had was his car. I was a supervisor of lawn and garden at Walmart. I made decent money as a 20 year old. We moved in together at the end of 2010.... Continue Reading →
Something I have learned is that I am in charge of my healthcare. I have had to learn how to speak up when I am uncomfortable with any of the care I am receiving. I first started taking my mental health more seriously a couple of years ago. However, it wasn't until this past Fall... Continue Reading →
Hold on a second while I gather my thoughts... I apologize in advance if this is jumpy, but I just feel compelled to write this out. For the last 2 weeks, consistently, I have felt a sense of urgency. Like there is something missing in my life. It used to be this feeling when I... Continue Reading →
When you spend the majority of your life a certain way, you can only assume that it is normal. It wasn't until maybe 2 years ago that I found out not everyone has experienced depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, and the like. Even in hearing other people's testimony about the way their "normal" brains work, didn't... Continue Reading →
A couple months ago I received an email saying that my primary care provider was no longer going to be in practice this Summer. I literally just started seeing her this last year when my other primary doctor left the practice. Anyways, I wasn't sure what that would mean for continuing my meds, so I... Continue Reading →
I have been in the darkness this last week. In partial because of my mental illnesses, but I think the quarantined lifestyle has made matters worse. You would think it would not be that traumatic for a person who has been a stay at home parent for 6 years. Granted, that started with only 1... Continue Reading →
I decided after halfway through this post that this would be better if done in a series. So, here is part 1 of who knows how many. 😅 When I was younger, cleaning was the most horrific thing you could ask me to do. I remember being so overwhelmed with anger when my mom would... Continue Reading →
Day 24. DO NOTHING. TODAY IS YOUR DAY TO BE STILL, YOU DESERVE IT. You are absolutely right, I did deserve it! I basically kept myself and the kids alive today. I didn't clean and I didn't cook dinner. Unfortunately, I also haven't been feeling well. So I will take all the rest and "do... Continue Reading →
Day 23. TURN OFF NOTIFICATIONS This probably could not have come at a more perfect time. The only thing I will be leaving on is my messenger. All I want to do is sleep the day away today. I know that is a farfetched dream though. On the struggle bus.
