When it rains…

I feel like a tornado is conjuring within me and I am trying really hard to keep looking out for the peeking sun or even a glimmer of a rainbow.

My life for the last 9 months is really taking it’s toll. I am not in a good place mentally because of it. I want to collapse into a darkened pit. How much can a person take?

I have been trying so hard to continue to find the joy everyday. Trying to find ways to shift my negative thoughts. But today, nothing is cutting it. Sure I can speculate that it is a combination of horribly off hormones, needing a change in my medications, and just the overall happenings of life I have been dealt. But why is this my journey?

The intrusive thoughts. The rage. The depression. The anxiety. The wanting to cry for no known reason at the oddest of times. The guilt. Everything.

They say flowers come from rain.

I am just hoping they start to bud soon.

🌧 🌻 jenn