March 3, 2012 a day that will live in my core memories for the rest of time. That was the day Chris and I got married. It was a very inexpensive, last minute, wedding in the park.
Obviously I don’t regret the marriage itself, but man would I have really liked things to have been different. The ceremony itself wasn’t even bad. I would have picked a different dress, hair style, had both my biological father and my step father walk me down the sidewalk, and I would have hired an actual photographer. The only photos we have are ones people took on their phones and the ones my dad’s “photographer” friend took that made us all look like vampires. I really do not have one great picture from it.
Though, if I could only pick one part of that day to redo, it would be what occurred afterwards. It started out alright. My brother and my dad got us a party bus that everyone was invited on. This included my dad’s friends. It turned into a wedding party in the front and a party for my dad in the back. The bus took us to our hotel that my brother got for us to check in quickly. We then got back in the bus and boogied around the town for… I don’t remember how long.
Since it was such a short notice wedding and we didn’t have any money, my dad decided to have our so called reception at the karaoke bar he frequented. I thought, cool I will get to sing as much as I want since it was supposed to be my day right? Haha, wrong! The DJ was incredibly selfish and only put people he wanted/knew into the rotation over and over. During the duration of this reception, I don’t even know where my new husband was. There was no first dance, no special moments, or anything of the sort. We literally were just a newly married couple at a karaoke bar.
My one friend definitely made sure I was heavily inebriated. I did sing one song. We had a cake, but I don’t remember us actually eating it or cutting it. At some point, I finally found Chris sitting a table looking awful. Turns out my dad had taken him outside with his friends for some illegal extracurricular activities, 🍁. He was heavily intoxicated and now add the high ontop of it. He didn’t look so good and his mom chuckled at him [we didn’t know about the extracurricular activities til after].
At some point I had went to the bathroom and when I came out, my dad was coming through with blood running down his face. He told me he got into a fight with a nail as he rushed to the bathroom. I immediately started crying and dropped to the floor. One of my dad’s friends tried to calm me down and told me that he [my dad] got into a fight with someone. Like what!? Who does that on their daughter’s wedding day!? And the reason for the fight…they were trying to see who was the better army ranger…Don’t even get me started on that one.
Immediately following that it turned into this huge frenzy. My designated drivers were too impaired to drive. My mom wanted to leave, but was the only person available not intoxicated to take us to our hotel. I took off running out of the bar, I was still crying and just a literal mess. My sister chased me down and had tried to convince me that my dad would be okay. It was then decided that we had to leave. It was maybe 11pm or so. Certainly not the way I wanted my wedding day to go.
Since then we have talked about having a do over. I know it wouldn’t replace the original wedding, but I also feel like maybe it would help me put it all to rest? I don’t know. For years I have had a secret pinterest board full of such beautiful ideas. Just when I think, “okay lets plan something”, I go back and forth contemplating if it’s worth it or not. Obviously things aren’t cheap and I don’t want to be showered with gifts or anything like that. I’m not sure if people would think it’s tacky? Does it matter what they think, no, but I still think about that aspect.
We have thought about doing a vow renewal sort of thing and getting a photographer, and then having a fun nonkaraokebar reception after. And not inviting those certain people to come.
Does anyone else have wedding woes from after it’s over? I’d like to hear about it!