If you couldn’t tell by my last poem Empty, things have been very emotional for me lately. A lot of emotional ups and downs and just trying to keep my head from spiraling all the time. It has also been quite rainy, which to a certain degree I find enjoyable. I guess it goes hand in hand with the current status of my mind; gloomy, periodically dark, and raining.
For some reason though, the rain makes me feel like either writing or reading. Comfort during hard times I suppose. With everything going on I have been thinking about how much I enjoy my solitude. Don’t get me wrong, having people in your life is important at times. At the same token though, it shouldn’t be an added life challenge to have relationships.
Everyone has a different idea on what a relationship should be like and that is fine. Some people want the constant socialization with others, whereas others don’t feel the need to. Relationships, in my opinion, where you have to cope ahead, bite your tongue, or feel toyed with are not positive relationships. Those are not the sort of things I want in my life. I have come to learn that I would much rather be alone than to have to force myself to maintain relationships that make me do all those things listed above.
👏 👏 👏 Relationships should not feel like they need constant maintenance.
While I am a very open and social person, I don’t feel the need to waste my sanity anymore on all the maintenance these relationships take.
Not only that, but it always seems like the more we know about someone and their life, the more we question and judge it. How we would do things differently if we were them or “why on Earth did they make that choice!?” That alone can make it difficult in certain instances to keep a relationship going. Lifestyles may not match and while that’s not a bad thing persay, it can cause relationships to fade.
I guess what I am getting at is you don’t have to feel lonely or shamed for enjoying solitude. There aren’t any rules that say in order to feel fulfilled you must have relationships. Feeling fulfilled is a feeling you can manifest for yourself.
Only you can decide how you want your life to look and feel.
End rant.
🌵Jenn
Reclaiming My Sanity 