It is 1203am, technically Sunday. I am feeling a bit anxious for no known reason. My stomach hurts, probably from all that carby pizza we had earlier today. Everyone in my household is asleep and I am just plain bored.
I decided to do this questionnaire to pass some time and who knows maybe learn something new about myself…
1. If you could have dinner with anyone who has passed away, who would you choose and why? My immediate answer would be my grandma. I would love to discuss more about her life and I would really love to hear her sing.
2.Who was your favorite teacher in Elementary school? Is it weird that I remember every teacher I had? Anyway, my 4th and 5th grade teacher was my favorite. She was the most lively, friendly, kind, and caring teacher. Her name was Ms. Meisinger, she wound up moving to Nova Scotia after she got married.
3.What was your longest road trip? I would have to look up the miles. I have been to Plattsburgh NY and Tampa FL via roadtrip. Let me grab the mileage… Okay, Plattsburgh is 1,308 miles and Tampa is 1,444. Although, we drove straight through to NY. We stopped on the way to Tampa.
4.What magic power would you like to have? I have plenty of them in my dreams. I lucid dream A LOT and having these powers makes it feel like I never slept when I wake up. Usually it consists of flying and some kind of hand motion or finger snap that can get whatever I want, or helping others get what they need.
5. The first apartment you ever rented. I moved into my first apartment about two weeks after graduating high school. It was around 525 square feet. It was 1 bed 1 bath. It was on the first floor and pretty basic. I believe it was around 650$ per month. I lived there with my now ex, so I don’t think I have any pictures left from that era.
6. What is your night time ritual? After the kids are in bed you mean? I guess I don’t really have a ritual that I do every single night. Usually it consists of going pee and watching videos on my phone, lately it is murder mysteries and psychic mediums. I do almost always lotion my face before bed.
7. The most terrifying moment of your life? Probably the time I thought I was about to die in my car. I hit a patch of black ice on the highway and nearly got smashed by a semi truck on the other side of the highway. Literally within inches. Absolutely terrifying.
8. Where do you see yourself in 1 year? We will still be in our house. I will be physically stronger. That’s really the only answer I have.
9. The most meaningful book you have ever read? The first one that sticks out is Girl, Wash Your Face and The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A Fuck.
10. A letter to a friend. Dear ____. I have been feeling some guilt lately that we haven’t seen each other or even really spoken much. I hope you know that I still care about you and love you to pieces! Even if we are both in the busiest era of our lives making that balance challenging, you will always be one of my best friends.
11. What was your favorite college class? It is probably a toss up between Human Growth and Development and Psychology.
12. The best concert you have ever been to? Oh wow that is a challenging question. Honestly, I would probably say Twenty One Pilots. I seriously have been dying to see them again. Absolutely amazing.
13. Three pet peeves. #1 Liars #2 Hypocrites #3 When people don’t say please and thank you.
14.What world record do you want to break? This has never been an aspiration of mine honestly. Though, today, my mom and I were talking about how I would like to grow our own pumpkins this year. She mentioned I should try to grow the biggest to break a record. I would just be glad to get 5 pumpkins haha.
15. How would your best friend describe you? It probably depends which one you ask. I think all of them would say blunt/honest.
16. What talents do you have? I can roll my tongue into a 3 leaf clover. I like to believe that I can sing (and have always been told so).
17. What makes you angry? All of my limitations whether physically or mentally. They really knock me down sometimes.
18. What 5 things do you want to do on your next birthday? 1. Go to Disneyland. 2. Look at Christmas lights. 3. Try a new restaurant. That’s all I can think of…
19. Your most recent dream. Oh wow, do you really think you want to read about this…🤣 I was on a sort of scavenger hunt to find this guy that I was apparently in love with. He plays in one of my favorite bands. I remember having magic powers and using location spells to try and find him. I had 3 clues carved into a stone; the Kansas city chiefs logo, I can’t remember the 2nd one now, and the 3rd had something to do with Oklahoma. During all of this, some weird creatures were trying to take over the city. So I was also having to battle them while searching for this guy. Oddly enough, Bumblebee from transformers showed up to help battle these alien-like creatures. I remember one of the stones lead me to the guys “place of work” which was a skating rink. I decided to show off my cool roller skating tricks. I remember the 3rd stone leading me to some concert venue where he was supposed to be playing, but I couldn’t find him. Instead I somehow wound up being put on stage to sing. I tried to get the band to play an Evanescence song, but they kept getting it wrong. So instead, I completely made up this song about my entire hunt for this guy, which was actually pretty catchy and good for an improv. At the end of it. I FINALLY FOUND THE GUY, or I should say he found me and we were both equally excited. 🤣 there were a lot more details, but that is the jist.
20. Your favorite musical. WICKED!!
21. Your favorite place to read. Probably my bed.
22. What would you do if you could live one day without consequences. In theory, I would be taking over the government. However, I don’t consider myself that ballsy, so I would probably do something that gave me a lot of money so that I could help end poverty and homelessness.
23. The most outrageous and craziest thing you have ever done. I honestly don’t think anything that I have done is that outrageous or crazy…
24. Your most embarrassing moment. Probably being walked in on during sex 😅.
25. How you met your best friend. I have 5. #1 Working at Walmart. #2 Middle School. #3 My brother introduced us. #4 and #5 I have known since high school, but friends since my 21st birthday.
26. Three things you want in a relationship. #1 HONESTY #2 Laughter and #3 Communication.
27. Your favorite day of the week. Usually Sundays and Mondays.
28. Would you ever get rid of your television? Yes. I don’t watch a lot of t.v., we don’t pay for cable (just Netflix). It wouldn’t bother me to not have it. Other people in my house would disagree with getting rid of the teles.
29. What would you ask your pet if it could talk? I would ask my dog what his problem is because he can be a real jerk sometimes. I would ask them why they have to bark at the window when dogs are outside, like what do you really think your bark is doing…?🤣 I would ask my cats why won’t you drink from a bowl!?
30. What concert do you really want to go to? Shiprocked would be so cool! I also wanted to go to Knotfest, but I feel like they are a bit pricey for 1 ticket. I am just ready for any concert at this point, it has been far too long!
31. What’s the view like from your bedroom window? Currently it is pitch black out there, but it overlooks the backyard.
32. A step you have taken towards your goals. Advocating for myself and my health because doctors seem like money grubbing knuckleheads. I just want to struggle less.
33. Something good from last week. Having people that know people in trade and was able to save us SO MUCH MONEY!
34. Your dream job. Honestly I cannot figure this one out. I have way too many passions, something creative like interior design, creating art, making music, event planning, flipping furniture, something in psychology…I really don’t know.
35. Favorite things in your town. Probably the only thing we have going for us around here is all the local restaurants. Oh and I guess the zoo and pumpkin patches, too.
36. A way you relax. Uninterrupted baths. Watching YouTube videos or playing games on my phone. Decluttering/organizing.
37. Something you want to tell someone but haven’t. Usually if I don’t tell someone something that I want to, it’s because I know the results would not go favorably. There is a lot of things I would like to say or ask, but at the end of the day, it isn’t really my business and doesn’t affect my personal life, so what would the point be?
38. If you could talk to your worst enemy with mutual respect during the conversation, would you do it? I wouldn’t consider her an enemy persay, but yes I would talk to her.
39. Have you ever been bullied. Yes, many many times. From the time I was probably 4 years old until as recent as the last 5 years.
40. Have you ever been a bully. I will admit, yes I have been a bully. I was very naive in my younger years. Even though I knew I was being mean and wrong, the peer pressure took over and I did some pretty messed up things to 2 different people. I am definitely a different person now.
41. How is your mental health right now? Honestly not very good. I am safe. But, I contemplate my life nearly everyday. It is feelings of being too much and too little all at once. Feelings of having no real support system. Feelings of not wanting to live in all the pain and struggle. But, I keep pushing on as hard as I can. As we say in DBT, we must assume that everyone is always doing their best, no matter what that may look like.
42. What is something you are looking forward to. In the short term, it’s having my house back in order now that all the repairs are fixed. In the longer term, is having surgery to correct my severe diastasis recti and unashamingly getting a tummy tuck at the same time.
43. A fact you don’t always tell people. I am not ashamed about it, it just isn’t something that comes up often. But, I do identify as bisexual. I have known since I was around 10 years old. I didn’t know there was a term for it until I was older though. Most people don’t question it since I am married to a man. But, those closest to me have known for a long time.
44. What you really would like to do tomorrow. I want to take the kids out somewhere, maybe the zoo or hiking. Followed by doing laundry at some point and maybe go thrift shopping for fun.
45. What did you think you’d be when you grew up. I had a lot of ideas about that. For awhile I wanted to be a teacher. Eventually, in high school, I wanted to join the military. I always knew I wanted to be a mom. I also always wanted to be a singer.
46. What time of day do you prefer. Lately it is anytime after 3pm. Probably 3pm to 3am is my most active time slot.
47. What was the last video game you played? Probably Animal Crossing. It’s been at least a couple of months though, if not longer.
48. Three good things. #1 music #2 art #3 sex (yep, I said it).
49. Your top priority. My kids.
50. Something all people should know. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. The grass is only greener if you take care of your lawn.