A couple months ago I received an email saying that my primary care provider was no longer going to be in practice this Summer. I literally just started seeing her this last year when my other primary doctor left the practice. Anyways, I wasn’t sure what that would mean for continuing my meds, so I called.
They wound up referring me to the psychiatric clinic for a telehealth appointment (corona virus, you know how it is..). Well, I definitely didn’t know what to expect as I have not had a telehealth experience, but also because I have not seen a psychiatrist yet. I wasn’t really anxious about it. In fact, I forgot entirely that the appointment was today until I got a voicemail telling me they had some questions before my appointment. I had to check my calendar and it was today!
I won’t go all the way into detail about the hour long video chat. However, in talking with her, she gave me 2 official diagnoses and 1 to keep on our radar as I meet a lot of the criteria for it.
Now, I know some people wonder, “why are you telling everyone this stuff?”
First off, because it is therapeutic for me.
Secondly, I want to let other people know that they are not alone. Ontop of that, I want them to know there is no shame in getting help to better yourself. We all deserve to live our best life and that is all I am trying to do.
So, I officially have been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (not surprised) and OCD.
When people think of OCD, they think about people with obsessive behavior: like tapping a door 5 times before leaving and feeling anxious if they don’t. I don’t have that, but I do have obsessive thoughts. I never really considered myself to have OCD, but I am honestly not entirely surprised either.
The diagnosis that we are keeping on our radar is borderline personality disorder. I have looked it up before and felt like I fit most of the criteria.
Though, it is a lot to process in just a one hour session. She decided to go ahead and double the medication I am currently on and get me a referral for DBT, Dialectical behavior therapy.
Honestly had it not been for my primary doctor leaving, I would never of had this appointment. Had it not been for this corona virus and the use of telehealth, I most likely would have cancelled my appointment and went back to not taking meds (unless another primary doctor became available).
I am still trying to process it all. I keep going between, “man, how did my brain end up this way” to “at least I am trying..”
I know this blog has a lot going on, mental health, physical health, parenting, society, relationships, and whatever else in between. But, that is why I call it reclaiming my sanity. It is everything that makes up me and all I am trying to do is be the best version of myself.
I appreciate everyone that continues supporting me, it definitely does not go unnoticed. 💛
Just like everything else in my life, I will get through it. One way or another, I will make it through.