Honestly, I am so glad this year is finally over. I went into 2019 with my head held high and it didn’t take long for it to start knocking me down. It has been a serious roller coaster ride!
I saw this end of the year reflection questionnaire post [ found here ] and thought maybe it would help me see the year differently as I reflect on it and it’s entirety and not just the sore spots.
So here we go…
1. What makes this year unforgettable?
Definitely the hospital stay and welcoming of our precious Bug. I still cannot believe how long it has already been since then. Though I was in the hospital for a full month and it went by fast at the time, now it feels like forever ago.
2. What did you enjoy doing this year?
Something that I have done periodically this year is paint. I use to love painting, but never had the patience or even equipment to do so. After my aunt got me the paint by numbers when I was in the hospital, I revisited that old love.
I have enjoyed using watercolors and acrylics.
I even went to a painting with a twist for my birthday and had so much fun!
3. What/who is the one thing/person you are grateful for?
I am grateful for my house. My sanctuary.
As corny or cliche as it sounds I am grateful for my husband. He has grown a lot this year in regards to learning more about mental illness. He has been able to help me conquer some pretty dark times. Not once has he called me crazy or insane. Not once has he abandoned me. All he does is give. I am grateful.
4. What’s your biggest win this year?
Hmm. Honestly I would have to say figuring out life in a way that allows me to stay home with the kids again. We made a lot of adjustments, even getting rid of the car we had just got last year. Lifting the burdens as much as we can to get where we want to be.
5.What did you read/watch/listen to this year that made the most impact?
The book Girl, Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis. Which I heard through a YouTube channel that I have been following for years now, Cullen & Katie. Then most recently, another YouTube family that I came across on Instagram. They found their 3 month old baby not breathing on Christmas. Unfortunately, he passed away today after becoming a donor to save 3, possibly 4 other babies. It literally is my worst nightmare, something I think about all of the time. It just reminds me that time is too precious and those 2am cries for cuddles are just as precious.
6. What did you worry about most and how did it turn out?
Honestly, our biggest worry this year had been finances. With me having to quit my job, our bigger house payment, and all of the accruing medical bills, there were times we weren’t sure where to turn. But, we made it through, and the future is looking better. I am grateful.
7. What was your biggest regret and why?
I honestly can’t think of any regrets. I am a firm believer in you get where you are because of where you have been. We had some hard times, I had some really dark ugly times, but I don’t need to regret something that changed me for the better.
8. What’s one thing that changed about yourself?
A lot has changed! I turned 30! I started taking antidepressants/anxiety medication. I am mentally so much stronger now than I can ever remember being. I realized how strong I am and how much of a force I am to be reckoned with.
9. What surprised you the most this year?
#1 my water breaking at Walmart at 29 weeks.
#2 my best friend since 7th grade actually making the move back home!!
10. If you could go back to the last January 1, what would you tell yourself?
“Shit is about to get crazy, but just keep holding on you will be fine I promise!”
Here is to a fresh start!
Here is to a happy and healthy 2020!