What It Should Be Like

I can’t say everyone does, but most people dream about a day they are in a life long relationship with someone. I know I had that dream ever since I can remember. You can tell because for several years I was a bride for Halloween.

One thing I never really thought about was the family that my intended person would come from. Call me innocent and naive I guess. Having in-laws wasn’t even on my radar. Even through the 2 long term relationships I had before meeting my now husband, I didn’t think about it.

Flash forward to when my husband and I started dating (2010). I quickly realized that I would be lucky to have this man for forever. I met his family and everything seemed fine. That is until it wasn’t. Long story short (which I have already discussed and this is not intended to be another venting post about that situation) his brother and his brother’s wife shattered any hopes of having a decent relationship with me, and eventually my husband as well.

Growing up, I never imagined having married into a family where I didn’t get along with one of my partner’s relatives. For several years it was an internal battle that I kept fighting over and over. Trying to find ways to make it better, but being the only one who was trying to do anything at all. Being the only one to admit fault when really it wasn’t me who needed to apologize (looking back now). It was just never something I wanted to last forever so I kept trying. Then I finally gave up and figured I was doomed to have “that” brother/sister in law problem.

During that entire time I kept comparing my relationship, or lack thereof, with my husband’s relationship with my siblings. There wasn’t any issues there. Everyone got along, everyone respected one another, and we were able to have family gatherings that weren’t awkward as hell.

I thought for awhile that it would be interesting to see who my siblings end up with. Would it be someone who fit in with everyone or would it be another tragic ending to what should be an important relationship?

Flash forward to the end of 2017. My older brother met a woman, brought her “home” to meet us, and she instantly became one of us. It really did not take her and I long to become friends. Now, 2 years later, we are like two peas in a pod. I feel like this is the sort of sister in law (or brother in law) relationship that people should be having. This is how it should be. Where there is not a giant elephant in the room during holiday celebrations. Where our kids can get together just because and have that same bond.

We hardly ever go a day without talking, not that it was a requirement or we try to on purpose; it just happens. We are each other’s support system. She has been there for me when everyone else shuts down and I feel like I have done the same for her. It is a real genuine bond and I will always treasure it.