When you are a young child, having friends feels so important. We put ourselves through situations trying to please people in order to become friends with them. We want people to think we are as “cool” as we think they are. Everyone wants to fit in.
As teens, we are friends with people by association. Whether or not we actually like how someone treats us doesn’t necessarily matter so long as we have a “friend” or many “friends”. Often times, doing things we wouldn’t do ourselves; peer pressure.
Then you become an adult, let’s say 21. Friendships still seem vital to life’s existence. I mean, who else is going to stay up until the sun comes up drinking shots of fireball with you? You share your entire life with these “friends” and they do the same with you. Then all of a sudden, one day one of you realize, “I don’t want to party anymore”, or you get married, and/or have children.
Before you know it you are 30 years old. How many friends do you have now? Probably a lot less than where you started back in grade school. So, what happened?
Of course there are friendships that end because of jobs and relocating. However, what I am figuring out is that it all starts to happen because of judgements. Judgements we have because we know too much. Judgements people have against us because they know too much.
Everyone has a different set of beliefs and how they feel life should be played. Friendships are harder to maintain when you have differing views that cause you to cast judgement on each other (in front of or behind their backs). That is the thing though, is it really a healthy friendship if you have to maintain it? Is it a healthy friendship if you are casting judgment on their choices or knowing that they judge yours? Is it worth the eye rolls and endless unsolicited advice on how they can change?
I am realizing more and more how much my life doesn’t need to be surrounded by “friends”. I don’t need their approval or unsolicited advice in order to feel like I am living my best life. I don’t need them knowing every detail of my life or me knowing theirs. The more we know, the more harder it gets. It is best to keep friendships at a distance.
I hear it all the time that I am a home body. The majority of that is because I don’t need fake relationships. I don’t need the added judgements when I judge myself enough as it is. Having friends is not a life requirement for me. At least, not any that are sub par.
Don’t put too much stock into friendships, most of the time they are mediocre at best.
You do you.
That is all,