In The Hospital
Within hours of my last post, I ended up in Labor & Delivery.
On Tuesday evening, we had eaten dinner as normal and decided to go to the local neighborhood marketplace to get a few groceries. I was feeling pretty good considering the pelvic issues from the 2 days prior. We walked through the first set of doors and grabbed a cart. We walked through the second set of doors and all of a sudden I felt a small “pop” and a trickle of fluid. I thought, “okay, what was that? Did I just pee myself?” I took a couple more steps and wham. My water had broke.
I became panicked as I am only 29 weeks. This should not be happening, I kept repeating to myself. I kept hoping it was in fact pee, but I have been through my water breaking with both of my other kids and knew the sensation/difference all too well. I ran to the bathroom, with the kids and Chris following quickly behind me. My first instinct was to smell my very soaked pants to see if it smelled of urine (sorry if TMI), but there was no smell to it. I knew we needed to go to the hospital as soon as possible. We hurried out of the store. Pickle kept asking if we could stop to get him a candy on the way out, he did not understand what was really happening.
I tried to explain that this was urgent and we did not have time. We finally got to the car and I called the hospital to let them know what happened and that I was coming. I called my mom to also let her know and to see if she could come help wrangle the kids.
We got to the hospital and Chris dropped me off at the vallet doors so that I could get up to labor and delivery quickly. I started walking and started having more fluid come out. I stopped at the information desk and asked to be wheelchaired up because my water had broken and I didn’t want to have puddles throughout the hospital. The lady at the information desk was shocked and shut down her area to find me a chair and wheel me up.
I got checked in, chris and the kids, and my mom made it before they took me back to a triage room. In triage I explained what happened to them. They decided to go ahead and test to see if it was amniotic fluid or not. The test came back positive, but the slide that the doctor took to look for “ferning” under a microscope was not certain. They had me lay flat for a little over an hour and did the test again.
“Well, darling you are definitely ruptured.” The doctor came in saying.
Of course, my mind was racing with all these what ifs. How do I take care of my kids from a hospital bed? How do I cope with being in the hospital until the baby does come (hopefully not until 34 weeks they say). I kept having all these selfish thoughts. Then Chris says to me, “let’s not worry about the what ifs. Let’s worry about what they are telling us now. Get through what we know now and take it as it comes.”
Basically, my water broke, but I was not in labor. I was admitted and am hopefully able to make it to 34 weeks and then be induced or have a csection if he is still breech.
I feel quite helpless in here. My other 2 kid’s lives are upside down now. I know my family has everything under control and am totally grateful for my village. Yet, I still sometimes find myself having these selfish thoughts. I keep trying to tell myself that I need to not make more stress, the kids are taken care of, and me and the baby are very important right now. I need to be calm and do what is needed to keep him in there longer.
I have been on a multitude of antibiotics and steroids. My water still has been leaking. Yesterday I was running on less than 2 hours of sleep because of all the poking, leaking, anxiety, and the fact that I am in a hospital bed. I am bed ridden, I can only get up to use the bathroom. I know it is what is best right now.
I finally was able to sleep last night, which helped my annoying headache immensely. However, after the doctor’s morning rounds, I started having some cramps. I requested to be put back on the monitors (I had “graduated” off of them around midnight). So, here I lay.
I don’t know what is going to happen going forward, but I have had to try and wrap my mind around having another csection and also, having a preemie in the nicu. It is a lot to take in, but I am doing my best to stay in the present and take it as it happens.
Uneventful days are good days, so hopefully I can have more of those and make it to the 34 week mark.
That is all for today.
From my hospital bed,