Bad Habits

“Bad habits, bad habits. Every body has them, who you got to blame?” -Kottonmouth Kings-

Part of my social anxiety is over analyzing everything that I say. I will replay conversations in my head and sometimes I feel like the other person could have totally misunderstood what it was I meant.

For example, for Pickle’s first birthday (nearly 5 years ago now) I distinctively remember my cousin had gotten him this airport set. I had made the comment that we had looked at it when we were shopping for a gift and went with something else instead. Now, 2 hours after the fact I kept replaying that moment in my head and kicking myself in the rearend. I didn’t mean it as if it was something we didn’t want. Honestly at the time it was more than we wanted to spend on a gift. For some reason though it kept replaying over and over again. Like I had made a big mistake even though that was not my intentions what so ever. Now I don’t know that anyone took it in the manner that my anxiety is telling me, but that moment still replays in my head.

I tend to do this a lot. Replaying moments and thinking, “oh my gosh they probably think I am a dingdong or heartless”. I guess anxiety could be considered a bad habit in a way..?

Getting to what I had started this post for…

I know everyone has bad habits. I am trying to work on mine. I have realized lately that I may come off as conceited. In typical conversations someone will say something having to do with their life, and for the most part, I have some kind of similar situation in my life. I have a tendency to respond with a “here is what happened to me” story to show them that I understand where they are coming from. My anxiety, once again, has begun telling me that these people probably think I’m a crap friend because I keep redirecting to myself. Though my intentions are not to make everything about me. I can see how it may come off that way, though.

I am trying to focus less on my life experiences when people talk to me, even if I feel 100% relatable to them. Perhaps I am over analyzing once again, but it is a habit I am trying to break.

What are your bad habits?


2 replies to “Bad Habits

  1. Trying to get over habits is sooo hard! I completely hear you. I have a horrible habit of saying “Oooooooooh, sweetheart” whenever someone tells me something. Good, or bad, happy or sad, it’s always in the same tone. And I’m told the tone isn’t very nice. lol

    Liked by 1 person

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