31 Days Of Self Love: Day 1

No one ever said you have to start a 30 day (or 31) challenge on the first day of the month..

I saw this 31 days of self love challenge on Pinterest and thought the content was going to cater to my needs (working on my self and becoming more self aware). Sometimes we don’t think of things to ask ourselves, but sometimes the answers will surprise us.

So here it is. You can participate too if you would like to use these as a prompt. If you do please send me a link in my comments section so I can read it.

Day 1: What is your biggest struggle with loving yourself?

I am having a hard time coming up with a single answer. There are many things I am working on about myself. I guess I would have to say how hard I am on myself. I put a lot of pressure on myself to be the person I think I need to be. I know I am not perfect, nor is there such a thing. That doesn’t make me less driven to be as close as I can to my idea of it.

In my mind, it is being this super put together person. Someone who can wake up earlier than everyone else. Doing this will allow said person to get put together for the day so they feel good about how they look. I struggle with waking up before 9am most days because of my anxiety and insomnia issues.

I like to try and make sure my family is well taken care of by cooking every meal for them. Sometimes I do take the lazy route by using the toaster to make waffles, but should that really matter? Sometimes, I just think I am not doing enough. Are the kids getting all their food groups? Are they eating too much processed foods and sugar? I strive to maintain a balance. It just doesn’t always work and then I beat myself up for it.

I try to maintain a clean household. I feel like there are days where I am constantly cleaning, but you can’t even tell. To some extent I don’t mind because we do have 2 young kids, but having a clean home makes me less stressed. I like organization. The struggle can be when I have my off days. Sometimes these off days can last 3 days in a row. I get lazy and unmotivated. I know I deserve time to relax, but sometimes I know I overdo it. Which then, I beat myself up for.

I often compare myself to a 1950s housewife. How they were able to maintain their daily schedule the way that they did is totally beyond me. Granted, yes society is completely different now. Life is a lot busier now, I think, than it was for mom’s back then. We want to have an identity more than what we do inside our home. I want to go out and experience life. I want to navigate through my interests to see what I can do, find what I am good at.

There are just so many things that I think I want to be/do that not being/doing it, makes me feel like I am slacking. Like I could always be doing more.

Really though, I am ok with not being perfect because I know that no one is. I know that I am a good person. I know who I am and who I am trying to become. I am happy with where I am at verses where I have been. I know that is what matters.

Until tomorrow,

Jenn