Saying Goodbye

The last 4 years have been a whirlwind. 4 years ago I would not have thought we would be where we are today, having to say goodbye.

As I am laying here on the floor, in my bedroom for the last time, my mind is starting to rewind on the memories we have created here.

This is the first home we have purchased for our family.

This is the place our son took his first steps.

This is the first and only place our crazy dog has lived.

This is the place we have felt at peace, safe, for the last 4 years.

This is the place I knew I could count on after a long day’s battle of depression.

It has been my place of tranquility.

This is the place where we went through our infertility struggles.

This is the place where we became a family of 4.

This is the only place our daughter has ever called home (though she cannot speak much yet).

It’s the place we have celebrated holidays and birthdays in.

It’s so hard to say goodbye to this place when it still feels like home.

I know that the memories will stay with us.

We will treasure all the pictures we have to look back on.

Our kids likely won’t remember much from this house, but we will.

I know we are doing what is best for our growing family, but even just packing our stuff makes me a little sad. Mostly due to the fact that we aren’t moving into a new house just yet, but I know we will get there soon.

I am laying here and it feels like I’m in someone else’s dream.

I don’t really want to let this place go.

I keep saying to myself, “are we really doing this?”

Earlier tonight I asked Chris if it was too late to change our minds. Of course I already knew the answer to that (yes). Maybe it’s just the way we are leaving it that is making me want to stay. Going to a little apartment is not what we had planned for.

However, I know that life happens and all good things eventually come to an end.

Even though this is the end of this chapter, in this house, I know it is only the beginning of a new one.

So long house.

I hope you give just as many memories, if not more, to the next people who dwell inside of you.

-Jenn