It is about to get very personal in this blog. I recently joined the Out of The Darkness Walk through the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. This cause is very important to me as a person who has suffered from depression and suicidal thoughts for a very long time.
Following my parent’s divorce I became depressed. Depressed and angry. I was only in elementary school and did not comprehend what I was feeling at the time. When I started middle school things changed for the worse. I was bullied a lot for my weight, acne, and curly hair.
Not only when I went to school did I feel defeated, but I also felt out of place in my own family. I felt like nobody cared and began having suicidal thoughts.
The thoughts I was having manifested quickly and deeper. I remember plotting different ways to take my own life. I felt so alone and the world felt so dark. The only thing I had to hold onto was my music. I remember spending countless hours blasting Linkin Park and Slipknot trying to drown out the thoughts in my own head.
The world got even darker to me and I remember thinking I just want someone to notice that I am hurting. Yet, even asking for help made you have a huge sticker over your head saying, “be careful around me I might snap.” There is this really bad stigma attached to depression and suicidal people that put people off simply because they have never been in the same position in order to understand.
The worst thing a depressed person with suicidal tendencies wants to hear is that they are crazy or that their feelings are irrational. Feelings are feelings. People carry the burden of harboring these dark feelings because no one knows what to say to them. Chances are, like in my case, we just want someone to listen and care about what we are saying.
This walk is so important to help get more information out there. To help those that want help, but are too scared to ask. To help those who’s loved one is suffering with depression and suicidal tendencies and to find ways to help them cope.
Every dollar counts and I truly appreciate any donation or sharing. Let’s erase this stigma and help as many people as we can.
You can donate by clicking this link below.