Religion and Why I Cannot Commit

There are many things I do not understand. One of those things is religion. Not just religion, but more specifically committing yourself to it.

A little background- I was not raised religious. My parents had a differing of opinion on how to raise us. My dad, Roman Catholic and my mom, Christian. I did attend mass with my grandparents a number of times. We did celebrate holidays revolving around Jesus, but I don’t remember them as religious filled. It was more of Santa and the Easter bunny for me. The issue was never forced upon us, though.

I would say it really wasn’t until middle school that I finally figured out not everyone believes in the same things.

I remember in high school seeing other kids with black smudges on their foreheads, not knowing what it meant. I remember taking a world religions class and feeling like I could identify with a little bit of all of them. I remember thinking I was really interested in being Pagan. It was actually the first religion I thought I could claim myself as. However, the more I learned and thought about it, it just wasn’t for me.

At some point, I thought I believed in God and that I would consider myself a Christian. I had trouble committing to that as well because I did not agree 100% with everything they believed.

That is the thing that gets me. How can a person claim to be a certain religion, but not live by it 100%? For instance, certain religions believe that everybody is a sinner. People that are doing wrong whether knowingly or not. As long as they ask for forgiveness they believe they are forgiven. Even to just do that same thing again. How is that justifiable in their religion? Is there something I missed that says you can knowingly choose to do wrong, but still be forgiven just by asking? If I did miss that, that means that being bad or doing wrong is ok. Like, “Oh I just killed someone, but it’s okay because I asked to be forgiven.”

It just doesn’t make sense or seem logical to me.

I know in many religions, it is the duty of the parents to raise their children under the same religion. How many of those kids wind up sticking with that their entire life? More so, by living 100% by what their religion says.

My opinion, no you don’t have to agree,  is that people cling to religion because they are too afraid that there is no life after death. Like, life is not enough there has to be more. More so, feeling like there has to be a reason we go through the lives we do. My question is, why can’t it be enough? Everyday you wake up and have to make a choice how to live. Make it count and not because a book or person, in a religious building, told you how, but because you want it bad enough.

Sure, this is a very controversial subject and these views are my own. You are fully entitled to believe what you do and I will not protest against you for it.

In trying to figure out where I stand, I have decided that it is okay to not claim myself as anything. It doesn’t make me any less of a person. It doesn’t make you any better, or less, of a person for believing what you do. If in the end we can all be decent human beings, that’s all I could care about or ask for.

-Jenn