The time is drawing closer and soon my little Pickle will be walking into his first day of preschool. In a way, I am nervous for him, but I ultimately know he NEEDS this. Although he has gotten a bit better he is still a nervous Nelly. I tend to think, perhaps he gets his social anxiety from me, even though I like to think I hide it well enough from a four-year-old. The thing is, they see and feel, more than we give them credit for. Although, he has only expressed his excitement thus far, I cannot help but be a little worried.
I am nervous for how he will react once he realizes nobody he knows is in his class with him. How will he handle authority from someone he just met? How will he handle asking for permission or help? How will he handle meeting new kids? Will he think he needs to rough house with everyone the way he tends to do at home? Will I get a phone call saying that he is in trouble? Will he sit still enough to hear what he is being taught? Will he actually speak to people?
I think it is common to feel this way as our children step into an unfamiliar world. We want them to be successful. We want them to have better than we did, even if we did not have it that rough. I want him to have all the opportunities he possibly can. At the same time, I do not want to pressure him and make him more nervous. I have not shared my nervous thoughts with him. I do my best to make it a positive thing about him going to school. I tell him I am excited for him to get to learn and make new friends. I then go into detail about the things he might be doing such as subjects he will learn and activities they may get to do. However, as much as I try to prepare him there really is not much out there to prepare me.
I cannot predict the future. I cannot tell if he is or is not going to cry on his first day because we have to say goodbye to him. Either way that it goes, I know this is what he NEEDS. Being a parent is sometimes putting your feelings of nervousness aside so that your child can experience for themselves. It is cutting the cord, mentally. It is knowing that you give them their best shot at their life. Giving them all the resources that they need even if you may have feelings of nervousness and worry. I know it will be an adjustment for all of us, but I also know at some point I am going to say it was worth it.
Sure, I am sad that he is of school age now because I know he is only going to continue to grow and mature. I feel like once it begins it is going to make time speed up even more. Next thing I know I will be sitting in my rocking chair, knitting my grand-kids some kick ass booties, wondering how we got this far. There never is enough time, especially when it involves your children.